Potty! (Click here for more)

  • Posted on: 6 December 2014
  • By: Milo

Texting and walking at the same time

Editorial: You are just as likely to run into something while you’re texting and walking as when you’re texting and driving. And it can be just as intense. There are a lot of famous walls…Hadrian’s Wall, the Berlin Wall, the Great Wall of China. But here’s one you guys might not recognize, but just as breathtaking. When you first see it, you expect a great deal more porcelain. No urinals!
So, to put this together, I’m walking and texting. I’m on the other end of the building and, you got it, I hurry into what I think is the men’s room. That experience is the same as getting hit in the face by an airbag in a 1990 Volvo.
After this experience, you don’t get hauled away in an ambulance. You look around to make sure nobody is there and if they are, even if they aren’t, you silently make your exit. I haven’t retreated that quietly since I passed our third floor and mistakenly headed up to the roof.
The lesson here is, you may be able to chew gum and walk, but don’t be so confident about texting.

Hi Gene!

Gene weighs well over 350 lbs. and left the restroom on his scooter moments before I got there. Unfortunately, Gene wasn’t briefed on STO. That would be Standard Toilet Operation.
The federal Energy Policy Act in 1992 set maximum flush for blowout toilets to 3.5 gallons per flush. Gene, because of his immense size and diet, requires at least 10.5 gallons to return his toilet to the pristine state the cleaning crew left it in before his arrival.
Now, some of the automatic toilets in our building produce in excess of the 10.5 gallons needed. They go on forever. Some shoot out about a half-gallon of water, but continue to flush until you find a seat, or another stall. This makes it hard to keep that paper seat in place, but that’s a situation we’ll have to take up at a later time. Some toilets just shoot out about a half-gallon and retire.
The government has a lot of rules and spends an exorbitant amount of money on training. The rules are to make life more difficult, while the training is to bring the difficulties back into balance. The government’s focus leans more toward rules.

In our restroom, the government didn't take Gene into consideration when making the rules and didn't inform him that there was a button that allows additional flushes! At 350+ lbs., Gene isn't about to run back and forth in his stall to make the thing flush. He only has about six inches to play with (that would be distance from toilet to door minus Gene).
So, here’s where TGET News comes in to save the day. To the left of the chrome thingy on the back of the toilet is a button! It flushes the dang toilet! If there’s stuff in the toilet, keep hitting the button until it’s not there!
Thank you for your cooperation.